Loved Ones

There are times where things just don’t line up the way you want them too. They don’t line up and it hurts everyone involved.

This is a part of the human condition and is common among family and partners. It would be weird if inconvenient and shit luck did not cause us hurt as they are hurtful experiences. If circumstances forced you away from a loved one for your own health for a short time and you didn’t experience some sort of sadness or pain, I would be concerned.

There will be a time where someone in your life is feeling stuck and feels like they are out of options and it’s going to be hard for both of you because you will have to share that hurt with that person if they are truly important to you. You will have to share that hurt as well as empathize with them and comfort them. It will be hard not to give them solutions or a silver lining but those will be empty words to someone who already knows the silver lining and knows what solutions are available to them but they are hurting and it’s excruciating in the moment to understand those feelings without fully being aware of them in their basic form.

It’s is agonizing to watch someone you love struggle – it can be even harder when the hurt they are experiencing involves your situation with them. You want to offer solutions as comfort and you must refrain. Being able to see your thoughts come to you, acknowledge that they will bring you or your loved one into a dark place and allowing that thought to pass will be a critical skill in becoming a solid support system for your loved one.

There will come a day where there is truly nothing that will change the mind of a loved one and it is a struggle they will have to cope with on their own. Trust them. If you don’t, your lack of faith will form a hole in your partner and cause not only resentment but a barrier between you both that will either end your relationship or be detrimental to the health of your relationship indefinitely. Be sure to allow your loved one to process their hurt in the way that they feel comfortable. Allowing them to challenge themselves without overwhelming them is important as no one should be subjected to a “healing” experience that causes them further unnecessary pain.

In conclusion, love is hard. Love is a choice and is given with thought and care. Consider these things and practice empathy with your loved ones – feel with them not for them.

They are worth the wait and the hurt. A loved one should be loved kindly.

Love kindly.